Let’s talk about kissing, shall we? In a recent discussion, I was struggling to describe my objection to the style of kissing I’ve encountered recently. I couldn’t find exactly the right words. Leave it to my hilarious copywriter friend to hit the nail on the head: “nom nom nom nom nom.”
I laughed my ass of at her comment, because YES DEAR GOD, it does feel like your face is being eaten. Or rather: like your partner is attempting to empty your skull by scooping out its contents with his tongue. Gross, right? Let’s take a look at the most famous kiss of all time to illustrate our point. Keep reading →
My introduction to Guys with Girlfriends occurred during my collegiate single years. Back then, I was famous for my epic crushes. I could prize meaning from an accidental glance, and an off-handed flirtatious remark would send me into a days-long swoon. I rarely got laid, but I was always in love. I think my eager adoration made me a particularly appealing target for Guys with Girlfriends. They enjoyed my attentiveness, admired my ability to banter, appreciated the way my face would light up when I saw them.
And this was not a one-way road! Homeboys flirted back. Keep reading →
The theater was packed for THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG last night. 9:40pm on a Friday night in Hollywood, and a couple hundred 20-somethings had paid $15 a ticket to watch a 2D animated musical. And this was by no means an all-female audience. These were not girls still hoping to turn into princesses someday. In fact, I’ll be so bold as to claim that there was a solid 55% male majority in that theater. Keep reading →
About a week ago, I caught a commercial on Fox for Seroquel XR, a new anti-depressant that treats bipolar depression. It shows a series of middle-aged folks dressed in clothes that camouflage them into their daily lives. The voiceover talks about how bipolar depression can make you feel like you’re fading into the background. It’s a smart, memorable commercial. I’ve been watching a lot of TV lately, and I had seen the ad a number of times before last night.
If you’re like me, Wednesday is a big TV night for you, what with So You Think You Can Dance announcing results and the Glee kids singing their well-rounded asses off. (Also: Modern Family! I gotta set my DVR to record that “Incident.”) So I was sitting on the couch last night, and my Brilliant Darling Roommate (BDR) was sitting at her desk, and we were watching SYTYCD. The Seroquel XR commercial came on, and I reached for the remote to fast-forward through the ads to yet another shining moment with SYTYCD host Cat Deeley.
My BDR called out, “Whoa whoa whoa, pause for a second!” Keep reading →
When I was a sophomore in college, I took a class with Professor Jim Kincaid called “The Perils of Common Sense.” A lot of irreverent people with big brains took that class. We cracked jokes about everything, and we bonded quickly. Early in the semester, we spent a Saturday together in one of the conference rooms at USC. We broke into groups and we did presentations on various themes, ranging from sexuality to war to politics to family. We tried to challenge each other… which is the pretentious college way of saying we tried to impress each other. We all wanted to be the most subversive kid in class.
Then one group got up there and started talking about 9/11. They made jokes about conspiracies, talked about the man who jumped head first from the towers, blustered about what we did to deserve it. They challenged us, they made a point, they fulfilled the assignment. And I completely lost my shit. Keep reading →
“As it happened I did not grow up to be the kind of woman who is the heroine in a Western, and although the men I have known have had many virtues and have taken me to live in many places I have come to love, they have never been John Wayne, and they have never taken me to that bend in the river where the cottonwoods grow. Deep in that part of my heart where the artificial rain forever falls, that is still the line I wait to hear.” (Joan Didion)
In the absence of a man worth thinking about, I ponder the type of man I’m looking for. There are obvious qualities (honesty, intelligence, stunning good looks) that leap to mind, but those don’t interest me much. I care more about refining my radar. Not because I’m hunting for a husband, Lord knows it’s not that. I am just so tired of wasting my time on guys who are going to flake out or freak out or faaaaaaaade out. So, in the cause of saving everyone time, I have compiled a list. Correction: 3 lists. Keep reading →
